Prayer 3-18-13 St Michael

Susan Spicer Mason

My Most Amazing God,
Today I come before you heartbroken and exhilarated... This last week I have easily shed the most tears since I left the hospital... My heart just shattered for Melanie and her family... I know exactly what they were going through... Trying to explain to my husband that I was not having a setback because I just could not stop crying was not difficult because it was him who taught me about St Michael... He prayed with me, he prayed for us... He lit candles for Melanie every day.. He did understand because it was just seven short months ago I was living the same nightmare... Melanie's suicide struck an even deeper chord with me because the eight days I spent on my "In line of sight" suicide watch at the hospital, my fear, and I was very vocal about it, was that I would get to that one moment when I 'just did it' and hang myself on the doorknob with the neck of my t-shirt... Mel was so young and yet so very tortured... Thank you God, FOREVER, for bringing the Griego's into her life... I can feel in my soul that their love and mercy made her a more spiritual person... In her heart, she knew of no other way to stop hurting the people she loved most... My dad was in that same state of mind... Their suicide, in their minds, was an act of love and sacrifice... They truly believed they were a burden to this planet and those that loved her... St Michael... I've learned more about him since my dad died and it is coming to know him that I have been able to begin to make peace with where my dad, and Ryan (RAKs For Ryan), and Melanie are right now... I have posted the prayer and the explanation of who he is; in case any like me, were not completely aware of his job... He is the Patron Saint of our troops and so much more....
This brings me to the exhilarated part of my week... Yesterday I claimed a church as home... It will always be a very special day to me... Tomorrow is the 50th Anniversary of my 4th birthday... The 1/2 century mark of turning four is huge... When you're four... I had the song picked out all week and realized it needed to wait one week... So, with Your permission, my song today will be a celebration of life... A celebration of all that was good and wonderful about those we have lost... Not just to suicide, but in any manner... I feel like I may get away with this because the entire video honors our military... The Blue Angels specifically... I hope that the fact that it's a Van Halen song does not offend anyone... This is one of my all-time favorites and my family knows that when I pass from this earth, they had definitely better have this played at my service... Mostly because I love the sky and as a child I got to see The Blue Angels and The Thunderbirds with my dad... He gave me that love of the sky and the earth and jets... Lord, I pray for Your protection over our troops... All of this I pray in Jesus' Most Holy Name... Amen....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ3p6MXLs-0&feature=share&list=PLrisTEqRbMy44g8F4g_jXGrzn98i8c_oY