Emily Melissa

Oh my, my... Where do I start?? My first born.. If we were lucky enough to finally produce a girl in the Dalton clan, her name was to be Emily Tiana.. Cathy Dalton made fun of me the whole time because all she could think of was TiajuanaBoomBoom.. Thanks Cat... Lol!!! And for a whole day, that was her name.. The only problem was she looked nothing like a Tiana.. She looked like a Melissa.. So, on the way out of the hospital, she officially became an Emily Melissa.. Missy is the name she would go by until she was about 23.. Anybody who knows her after that, knows her as Emily.. She's a Gemini.. Go figure.. She was such a beautiful baby.. And a good baby.. The one I made every mistake in the book with.. The one who at 13 months could name 13 colors.. Purple was "grape" though until she was about four.. At three she could smoke anybody at the "Name That Tune" game with the radio, except for me or her dad.. But she gave us a run for our money and if we weren't on our toes, she had us.. By three she also had the most beautiful long brown hair that cascaded all the way to her waist.. She was also a bit vain because I was still being stopped by people to comment on my pretty child.. As a baby it was impossible to get through the store without being stopped repeatedly by someone wanting to admire her.. She was a cutie-pie and she knew it.. Even cuter, at the time, was the fact that she talked with a lisp.. So when someone asked her her name, her reply would be, "Mithy Dahton" (Missy Dalton).. Didn't quite have the L's down yet either.. She loved to shop and would spend hours with her little plastic shopping cart, buying groceries out of our cabinets.. She loved playing dress-up and could spend hours at it.. She also hated clothes and it was a challenge keeping her dressed.. We managed to instill enough modesty in her, that by the time she was four, she stayed dressed only enough to get away with.. She would hunt easter eggs as many times as she could talk us into hiding them again.. She was reading by the time she started kindergarten.. Also became a princess that year when her and Aaron Blair won at the Bradleyville Carnival.. I think I baked almost 30 cakes for that crown.. One of which became the object of a food fight in our kitchen.. She wasn't too thrilled about wearing it until she saw it on everybody else.. Not sure which one of the boys started that.. We moved to Ozark her fourth grade year and I promised her we wouldn't make her change schools again.. We didn't.. Ozark is such a mix of wonderful and painful memories.. It was there that she thought she hated me for years because she had been programmed to believe I was a terrible person by someone she trusted.. This is the very same child, who once she got out on her own, realized that years had been wasted unnecessarily because of that.. I will never forget the late night call with her on the other end.. All she wanted to tell me was that she knew the truth by now, and how very, very, sorry she was for the time she had wasted staying out of my life.. I had waited patiently for years for that call.. I knew without a doubt that it would come.. It actually came several years before I expected it to, which was a Godsend for me.. She has been my biggest cheerleader since.. Don't get me wrong.. All three have been cheering me on.. Just all three are so different and the encouragement is quite different from them.. This is the same child, who at 30 still calls me mommy, and calls me immediately when she needs to just cry.. She is a #6 (Nurturing) Life Path number, and a Gemini (On the cusp of Cancer)/Sheep child.. If you want to know more, just look that up.. Fits pretty well.. She has my incessant fascination with numbers, the sky, and the world around her.. She only wants to be happy without hurting anyone else to be that way.. She cried when Snoopy's french girlfriend left him to go back to France.. Could not understand for the life of her, why that French Poodle would do that to Snoopy.. She caters too much to friends sometimes and forgets that family is waiting for her to cater to them a bit too.. She feels like she owes that to friends and knows that family will still be there when the friends aren't there anymore.. Wow.. Sounds so much like me when I was younger.. She wants to be loved for who she is and admired for what she has become.. She is much feistier about really stupid actions in people and is not nearly as willing to overlook things as I am.. Something I wish I could be more like sometimes.. It's odd that she is running the world and taking it by storm when she was the most 'fragile' of the girls.. The very child that would aggravate every boy in the neighborhood until they started dishing it back, then run home to get her little sister to go beat the crap out of them because they were being mean to her.. And sure enough, I looked out the kitchen window to see a whole pack of boys running up the hill, and right on their heels was Kim and her whiffle ball bat.. They were all afraid of Kim and Missy knew it.. She also exploited that regularly.. Missy was my accomplished instigator.. Her two little sisters playing quite well together seemed to drive her crazy.. So she would first convince them that she should play too because it would be so much more fun with three.. Oh yea, and we need to do it this way because that will be better too.. No no no!!! Their way was dumb!! They were just being brats and trying to get her in trouble with all the commotion.. She was just trying to help and make the game more fun and didn't know why they had to be such brats all the time.. It is pretty hilarious now, but at the time I just knew I would lose my mind.. I do not know how I survived those three.. Never, at any time during the raising of them, could I EVER leave them at home alone.. Not even when they were 16, 13, and 10.. Not even for a few minutes to run to the store.. A few attempts ended up with a 911 call, because the neighborhood boys found out they were alone and decided to have a little fun and scare them by beating on the basement portion of the house, and then run and hide.. Not even so much that, however, is the fact that the fighting among the three of them would begin before I even made it out of the driveway.. One of them would make it to the car before I pulled away complaining about their evil siblings and demanding that they had to go with me.. So I wound with all three in the car, fighting the entire time.. I have to be honest, the fighting didn't stop once Missy was out on her own, leading me to the realization that although I knew she was a pill in her own right, she had obviously been given much credit that wasn't hers to get.. Imagine that.. She is probably the "deepest" of my children.. She wants to get inside everything.. Music is not just for listening to.. It is to read the words too, and, make sense of why the song even exists and why it touches people the way it does.. I would GIVE untold wealth to have her sarcastic wit.. She is very, very, good, and delivers at the speed of light and sound.. You will know you have been zapped as soon as she opens her mouth.. It is so awesome to watch and listen to because she is not a mean person and does not prey on the "weak".. Unless they really, really, deserve it.. And, if she blasts them, they had it coming.. I steal a lot of her material to use on unwitting souls that need it.. Just putting her name in the "Title" space of this blog opened a floodgate of memories and I'm not sure I can ever do her justice with my words.. She is one of my greatest accomplishments, but even more importantly, I know I am hers.. I so totally love that.. I am a very blessed mommy.. :)

Prayers for Missy and Eric

by Susan Spicer Mason (Notes) on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at 5:29pm

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For all my prayer warriors.. This prayer request comes from a very sad place in my heart as I watch my child struggle.. Missy is my oldest child.. AKA Emily for those that met her after she started working in the banking industry ten years ago..  She will be 32 in June.. If you are a Facebook friend of mine you already know this.. I am also posting this request elsewhere so bear with me those of you that already know Missy and Eric.. Missy is married to the most amazing, gentle, loving, hilarious, ninja soul.. I could not have asked for a better husband for my child.. He is truly a gift from God.. They have recently discovered that having a child of their own will not happen without going the IVF route.. Issues from both of them will not allow that.. IVF is invitro fertilization in case you aren't familiar with that term.. Their dream is possible but this will be an exhausting road for them, emotionally and financially.. A road they are more than happy to take.. They have put God in charge and they know He is in control.. I've been wrestling with how to best explain their struggle to conceive this last year and then last week she posted a note on her page, in an FAQ format, to answer the bazillion questions she was being asked.. With her permission I am adding it to my note so I can get my prayer warriors busy.. She said everything so much more eloquently than I could have ever done.. They have no children and if this is God's will they know that will change.. We could be eagerly anticipating a new arrival/arrivals as soon as next spring.. MiMaw (me) wouldn't mind sharing a birthday with them at all!!! Not sure why I'm saying "them" but hey, how awesome would that be??? So, if I could get you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE add them to your prayer list, I can't begin to tell you how much it would mean for all of us.. Especially Eric and Missy (Emily)...

It's times like this I wish I had a PR rep! :)

by Emily Dalton Bentz on Thursday, May 5, 2011 at 3:19pm

Since saying the word “IVF” on my status update Tuesday, my inbox has been inundated with questions, comments, concerns, well wishes, and prayers. First, I would like to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart; Eric and I are so thankful for your prayers during this time. Second, the responsibility of answering each question/comment individually has almost made me break out in hives, so I’m going to try and answer everything here in a FAQ format. (Plus lists and bullet points make me feel like I’m in control, so this is really a win/win! LOL)

Q: Why are you talking about this publicly?

A: Why wouldn’t I? This is my personal space and I refuse to live in a cave and carry the secret of infertility. I will not bear the burden of shame regardless of the lies/attacks that the enemy has tried to use against us. I do not feel that infertility is a curse; rather an opportunity for God and His amazing glory to shine through this trial.

Q: Why not adoption?

A: Eric and I have looked into all of our options; adoption being one of them.  At this time, adoption is not an option for us.  What God has planned for our future?? We just have to wait and see! :)

.

Q: Have you tried (___________________________)?

A: YES! Most of them at least 3 times! HA

Please let me explain. I understand that I am just now talking about this, but Eric and I have been walking through this season for a while now. After lots of trials, tribulations, prayer, tears, and seeking God’s heart on the issue, we’ve watched Him open this door for us to have a baby of our own, through the process of IVF. We have so much outside encouragement and even concern, but this isn’t a process we started out of anything besides a God given desire to have a baby, and He has led us through this, He’s in control and we’re just following Him with surrendered hearts.

Q: Read this website, book, magazine; try this, talk to this person:

A: We have been advised by Godly counsel and medical professionals, that as we go through this, to be very cautious about weighing lots of opinions. It’s already been emotionally overwhelming, and I’m seeing what that wisdom was trying to prevent, so as we move forward, this is a three cord thing – me, Eric, and Jesus.

Again, I do appreciate your concern but Eric and I have made our decision and we would love your support and encouragement during this time. If this decision is not one that you feel you can support, then I ask please that you keep your comments to yourself. :)

I look forward to sharing with you, our family and friends, as we walk through this next season! We are so excited and so very honored that we get do experience life with so many incredible people!

Much love, Emily and Eric