Again, wow... Where do I even start?? Five weeks early, yet healthy.. Very difficult delivery for me.. Emergency C-Section brought you into this world.. It took me four days to name you.. You ended up being named after me, Grandma Jo, and Grandpa
Spicer.. Complications made me very sick and kept us in the hospital for 18 days.. Probably some of the darkest days of my life defined your first year or two.. You were an amazing baby.. Just beautiful and so easy to take care of.. THANK GOD for my family.. You were surrounded by so much love.. I've spent years beating myself up over the guilt of not wanting to even have to be bothered with taking care of you.. I did what I had to and I had my moments of pure enjoyment at being a mommy.. Then the clouds would roll in and the darkness would take back over.. I understand now and forgiveness of my own mistakes still eludes me from time to time.. A very difficult delivery compiled with a major upheaval of our lives when you were five weeks old, were exactly the ingredients needed for a major postpartum depression.. How very heartbreaking that there wasn't a lot of support, or even recognition, of this very debilitating condition.. I had no idea what was wrong with me.. It took reading, "Down Came the Rain", by Brooke Shields, a few years ago before I could even accept that I wasn't a horrible person for how detached I had felt.. I experienced almost exactly the feelings she described, and finally, the healing has begun.. You were easily the best natured of the girls, well, until you hit about four years old.. It was then that you became known as Satan.. It was used lovingly, but it was a nickname none-the-less.. Away from home, you were absolutely
everybody's favorite out of you three girls.. At home, you flourished on your ability to create chaos.. We could see it in your eyes when you were about to start stirring things up.. You were a feisty little thing and every single boy in the neighborhood was very afraid of you.. The fact that you could send them running over the hill for their lives, when all you had with you was a
whiffle-ball bat, is testament to that.. It was also the reason they challenged you on a daily basis.. The words, "Bet you can't" or "I dare you!!" were all it took to get you to prove them wrong.. You were a daredevil anyway, but that just clinched the deal.. At Six Flags, when you were six, you stood on the front of my feet, just so you could be tall enough when they came around with the yardstick, to ride the roller coaster.. You screamed "
NOOOO!!!!" the entire time, yet as soon as the ride was over you were ready to go again.. Matt Burns challenged you to a race on your bikes, down our hill, which you happily obliged.. You were winning, and looking back to make sure.. As soon as you turned back around you slammed into the back of the Waggoner's truck parked in the street.. The trip to the ER told us what we already knew.. Your nose was broken.. Then, right on the heels of that incident you accepted yet another challenge from Matt.. He bet you that you were too chicken to jump off the rails of his deck, over the bushes, to the ground below.. Which, being on the hill we lived on, was probably about a 10 ft fall..
Pffftttt!! Piece of cake.. That trip to the ER revealed a broken arm.. I think you might have been the one that put Missy and Matt on the skateboard (sitting) and sent them down the our driveway.. That trip to the ER revealed a severely sprained neck for her.. Stephanie swears you were the organizer of the events that resulted in her being locked in the bathroom, requiring her being rescued by Aunt Debbie.. You started you career at the ER when you were three, racing
Brigette Hodges around their earth-home, and while looking back to make sure you were winning, you bit the dust.. That trip revealed a broken leg.. Those trips also put me under fire by hospital authorities, questioning your injuries.. The questions were put to rest when I allowed the witnesses/partners in crime to tell their version of the story.. You could not say your R's until fifth grade, and this blog would not be complete without quoting our all time favorite saying from you.. "Andy Pee-
tohs.. I want a
divohse!!" ("Andy Peters.. I want a divorce!!") That was in second grade.. When you were 13, you and Steven
McKnabb started going steady.. That went back and forth for the next few years.. Even when you two weren't "together" he was always at the house, hanging out with everyone else.. He was so crazy about you that he gave up some very destructive behaviors.. His family credits his love for you as the reason they got their son back.. Then two weeks after his 16
th birthday, on June 22, 1998, he was killed, trying to save his beautiful Canary Yellow '69 Firebird after it popped out of gear.. We all lost a very big part of our innocence that day when tragedy got right in our faces.. It "rained" on my cheeks for probably a year constantly.. I'm not sure how, because it wasn't any particular thing, but you changed as a result of that loss.. You were still a turd, could still create a commotion on a whim, but the really raw edge was gone.. You were, in fact, softer somehow.. Then three years later along comes Steven Robert, whom you named in honor of him.. You are the only child of mine to follow the motherhood path at this time.. The other two will eventually bless me with a few more
grandbabies.. But for now, Steven and
Emberlynn are more than enough..
Steph and I were just talking about how you have had her babies, and wondered which of her two sister's babies she would have.. Her first thought was probably Missy's and that they would be crybabies.. Then I said, "Or, you might have Kim's, since she had yours.." The few seconds of silence, followed by the gasp on the other end of the phone were priceless.. I'm still laughing at her.. That response pretty much sums you up.. You stand up for what you believe in, which I admire immensely, and I laughingly tell people you would fight a buzz saw running backwards.. The funniest part about that statement, is that I am not kidding!!
From Kim...
After an hour on the phone with my Momma I learned 2 things.... 1-it is ok to cry over a story you read the night beforehand and 2 that you can then laugh at the silliest things all in one conversation .... Oh the late night talks with that silly goon ... :) Love you so much Momma. — with Susan Spicer Mason.
Hey Mom..... you say "yes sweetheart " I say "hey ya know your the best, thank for always being there, for wiping my tears, for kissing my BooBoos lord knows I had severel. :) for holding my hand when I was scared and for pushing me when I didnt think I had any thing left. Thanks for always comming at the drop of a hat, rather its to get the kids or to come sit in silence cause I had a rough day, or getting a 2 am phone call just cause i needed to talk you never say Im tired or I was asleep you talk for hours if thats what i needed" I LOVE YOU MOMMY. THANK YOU FOR NEVER LOOSING FAITH IN ME OR REMINDING ME HOW STRONG I AM. Just thought u needed to know that. Love you.
Kisses from angels... Missy called tonight so her and Eric could pray with us for Kim.. Kim was in the tub so I put them on speakerphone, sat on the toilet next to the tub, and we bowed our heads as Eric started the prayer.. Missy finished it and we said Amen.. Kim and I raised our heads to look at each other and we were both bawling, which made us both start laughing.. Thank you Missy and Eric for the overwhelming peace your prayers brought.. We love you so much.. Kim has never had such an audience taking a bath!! I am so blessed.. Please, everybody, pray for my baby tomorrow.. I love you all SOOOOO much!! :)
Pay it Forward
by Kimberlee Dalton Hull on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 1:24pm
So I'm in Casey's in Ozark which use to be Quick Trip, getting a drink and candy bar and the old man in front of me is so confused on why he cant use his QT card to get gas anymore, he tells the clerk that's all he has besides 5 dollars and that wont get him to his wife at Cox and back home, so with a store full of people I start sobbing when he starts to tell his wife's condition and she probably wont make it much longer, so he says guess I wont get to see her today and walks out, I put my stuff down and told the clerk to put 40.00 dollars on that pump and I will take care of it, so she does and I walk out to him and tell him to get his gas that someone took care of it, he looked at me and said "my sweet dear you need to keep your money you probably have a family at home" I said yes sir I do and I promise they will be glad I did this, he said please give me your address so I can mail your money back and I refused told him to remember me if he ever saw me on the side of road, then he teared up and said I will never forget you young one, you are truly an angel and now I can see my love today.... Tear Tear cant stop crying. As he was leaving he had a sticker on back glass that said retired Navy, its so sad to me that the very people who got us here today cant even get gas and struggle like they do, I don't know why I was there today but I believe God put me there to help, and when all the others in the very packed store were so frustrated I told all of them right there you all ought to be ashamed at yourselves for being so mad over something so sad, they probably thought I was crazy because as I'm telling them that I am bawling. The women behind me looks at me and had the nerve to say "I work to hard for my money, your crazy for doing that" I didn't even has a response to that surprising I know. Will I ever see him again probably not, but will I ever forget him no I wont he touched my heart so deep and I really don't know who helped who today. God Bless all our troops.
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