The cruise

October 4, 2008 - Saturday

Life as I see it....
Current mood: content
So, I have always been terrified at the thought of a cruise... Me?? On a big 'ol teeny tiny ship, on a ridiculously huge ocean??? I think not... Then, I put that fear aside to try it with Missy and five other women... This was Missy's first cruise also... We both had a complete meltdown trying to get through security and to our cabin... A real life Xanax to the rescue moment... (I have had Xanax like 4 times in my whole life!) All I can say about facing my fears and going for it, is, THANK GOD I did!!! It was an AMAZING trip... Three days in the Bahamas was not enough... I felt like I was having a "Finding Nemo" moment while snorkling at CocoCay with her and Jennifer... I looked around only to find myself surrounded by hundreds of fish, just swimming along with me, going where I went... When I would stop, they would start swimming around me, literally brushing up against me, as if to say, "Well? Why aren't you swimming?" Put my face back in the water, and all was right with the world again, with my little buddies going where I went... I know that seems like such a very, very, small thing to be affected by, but it did, and I was... For just a moment, I became an honored guest among them, in their world... Being trailed by a Sting-Ray did not even frighten me... It too, was just along for the swim... To actually look them in the eyes, and make eye contact, knowing they were looking me in the eyes, was incredibly spiritual... I felt like I was face to face with my God... Like I had just received this amazing glimpse of life, that, I was up to that point, unaware of... Like I was being reminded, life is just too short, so get out there and swim, if only for just a moment... What a gift... My life, my loved ones, my earth... I will be (yet again) forever changed by such a simple experience... It is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that this has happened to me... My blessings are infinite, as is my love for the people and things, that make life one worth living... It might all fall apart tomorrow... My darkest hours may be only a heartbeat away... But you know what??? This HAS all been such a life WORTH living, surrounded by people that love me... By people that I love passionately... We're in this together, even if we have no particular direction to be going... It's important to just hang out and feel all of the blessings that some of the smallest events in our world are capable of bestowing on us... These are the things we may have to hang on to when our hearts are broken and pain dictates our day... The blessings that, may just be, my "Peek over the Pail" when I don't have the heart to pull myself up... I learned all of this one afternoon... I learned all of this from a bunch of little fishes... WOW... I learned ALL of this from a bunch of little fishes... Fishes that welcomed me with no strings attached... Fishes that made me feel like an honored guest in their world... Thank you little buddies of mine... God willing, we will swim again someday...